Just a Kiss
by Donnamour1969
Summary: My 11th story post-series.Josef confronts Beth with his growing feelings for her, and it has serious consequences for his relationships with Mick and Simone. Rated T, but may sometimes be M for sex/language. No copyright infringement intended.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I tried not to leave you hanging too long before posting this. If you like it, please let me know!

This is the eleventh story in my post-"Sonata" series, so after taking a little peek at this one, if you like what you see, you might want to click on my name and go back to the first story "Behind Closed Doors," so you'll know what the heck is going on!

Chapter 1

MICK

It had been two weeks since we'd gotten back to LA, and I hadn't seen Josef since. Hadn't heard a word, either. No wake up calls just to bug me or run some crazy scheme by me, or ask me some trivial question about a band or a movie or a mutual friend. It was too quiet from his end, and it was scaring the hell out of me.

I understood how he might want to be alone to lick his wounds, that being around me might remind him of our recent road trip, but images of Josef staking himself or purposefully dehydrating in the sun sent me driving to his house on day fourteen. It was ten o'clock at night and I'd just finished the final paperwork on a case I'd put to bed. Beth was working on a murder case of her own, and being at loose ends was playing havoc with my imagination. I missed my friend, and I was deathly afraid he needed my help but was afraid to ask for it. I'd warned him against hanging around me like a whipped puppy after Simone left him, and he clearly had taken it to heart.

When I drove through the gates of his house in the hills, the circle drive and the straightaway in front of his house were packed with cars. I couldn't find a place to park, so I pulled up on the grass. Josef was obviously having a huge party, and hadn't even bothered to invite me, so I was having a hard time caring about leaving ruts in his lawn. I don't know why I'd bothered worrying about the idiot.

I banged on the door, wondering if I would even be heard over the pounding bass of the hip-hop crap he was playing, but fortunately his butler was a vampire, and was able to hear my angry knocking. Niles was very British, an island of calm within a sea of rowdy…women? As he let me inside I realized that there must be at least fifty women packed into his house like half-naked sardines. They were of every shape, size, and color, both human and vampire, each and every one a model of feminine beauty. Or maybe they were just models.

"What the hell is going on here?" I asked Niles, glad to be heard without yelling over the music.

"Just another party, sir. It has been happening quite frequently since his return from New York." He looked around, sniffing at the hedonistic display. "I much prefer this over the orgy of a few days ago, I must say. Just when I'd finally gotten the carpet cleaned after Miss Simone's mishap…"

"An orgy?" I was so far beyond incredulous that I was surprised I'd gotten the word out. "Where is he?" I demanded.

"Out by the pool, sir."

"Thanks, Niles. And would you shut off that god-awful music?"

"I don't think Mr. Kostan—"

"Just do it. I'll take full responsibility."

"Very well sir."

I tried to be gentle as I pushed my way through the crowd, ignoring the groping hands that somehow managed to slip beneath my shirt or fondle my ass in passing. It was totally degrading, it really was. I made it to the glass doors that were wide open to allow easy passage in and out of the enclosed patio. I was able to pick up Josef's scent above all the estrogen, which might have been the only way to find him since he was totally surrounded by his beautiful guests.

Josef was holding court in his swimming trunks on a lounge chair near the pool, making the girls laugh with his witty remarks, while several jostled for the chance to present him with their wrist so that he might favor them with a bite. Two girls were taking turns drinking tequila from his navel, and they would giggle when he shivered and moaned after each shot.

When the music suddenly stopped, there was much yelling and protesting, but at least now my shrill, two-fingered whistle could be heard. "Sorry, Ladies. Party's over. Try to leave in an orderly fashion so no one gets trampled."

When no one moved right away, I vamped out and showed my fangs, giving a little growl of encouragement. That got them moving. Josef waved or called goodbye to his playmates, appearing neither angry nor surprised that I was here taking over. I could hear Niles politely ushering the ladies on out the front door.

"So, how's my favorite party pooper?" He asked when we were finally alone. "Sorry you weren't invited. I figured you wouldn't come anyway, as a sign of respect to Beth and all." He grabbed the abandoned bottle of tequila, and took a long swig right from the bottle.

"Josef, what the hell is up with you? You're having wild parties and orgies now? Trying to be Hugh Hefner is not going to bring Simone back any faster."

"Well, it certainly passes the time." I looked at him critically, noting how tired he looked, how gaunt and spiritually empty he seemed. This was the Josef of the 1970's and 80's, when the Hugh Hefner comparison hadn't been too far off. Of course, I admit I had been a willing participant back then, estranged at the time from Coraline, throwing myself into the blood, sex and booze to try to get her out of my system. But then I'd saved Beth from Coraline's failed attempt to start a family, and my life changed forever. When Simone had entered his world, I'd thought Josef had changed too.

"Why haven't you returned my calls?" I asked him.

"I've been busy."

I looked around the perimeter of the pool, at the wet towels, empty wine glasses, beer bottles, and overturned lounge chairs. Someone's purple bikini top floated in the middle of the pool.

"Yeah, I can see that."

"If you've come here to criticize, you can just hop in your 50's mobile and go home to Beth. Idon't need a mother." Then he laughed at the irony of that statement. Simone, apparently, still needed her own mother—hence the reemergence of Playboy Josef.

Before I could reply, however, he got up and dove into the pool, swimming down to the bottom of the deep end, where he rested like a sleeping shark. I waited five minutes for him to surface, but he stubbornly stayed where he was, which, as a vampire, he could do indefinitely. I sighed in frustration.

"You can't hide forever, Josef," I called, knowing full well his vampire hearing picked up every word.

"Watch me," came his watery reply from ten feet below. Another five minutes, and I was done. I strode back into the house, kicking aside misplaced furniture and more empty bottles. Niles had begun in earnest with the cleanup, but refused my offer of help.

"Keep an eye on him for me, will ya? Call me if he gets into any serious trouble."

"Certainly, sir." He hesitated a minute, then said: "I don't mean to overstep, but have you had any word from Miss Simone? I'm sure if she were to return, all would be well."

"That is the hope, Niles, but no, I haven't heard from her."

He just shook his head in consternation and bid me a good evening.

I left the house, comforted for the moment that at least I wouldn't have to search the desert for his rotting corpse.

BETH

It seemed like I'd just closed my eyes when a sharp pounding jolted me awake. I bolted upright in bed, reaching blindly for my pepper spray . I waited a minute, heart racing, until the knock came again. I grabbed my robe and moved through my darkened apartment to the door. I peeked through the peephole into the dimly lit hallway, and was surprised to see Josef Kostan, his arm raised to knock again. My immediate reaction was abject fear that something had happened to Mick and Josef was here to give me the bad news.

I switched on a light and unlocked the deadbolt, grabbing the doorknob before he could wake the neighbors with another loud salvo on my door. Taken off guard, he nearly fell forward, and I caught him, almost falling myself under his weight. I was immediately assaulted with the noxious fumes of tequila. I managed to stand him upright, and he regarded me with a lopsided grin and glazed over eyes. He was wearing a suit—Armani, if I had to guess- but his tie was askew and one end hung considerably lower than the other. His hair was wet and even spikier than usual, and he was wearing two very expensive but very different shoes. Josef Kostan was drunk off his ass.

I grabbed his arm and pulled him inside amidst his half-hearted apologies about the lateness of the hour, and propelled him awkwardly to the couch. He fell heavily into it and looked up at me thankfully.

"Thanks, Blondie. I wasn't sure I was gonna make it."

"Is Mick okay?"

"Mick? Sure, he was just playing bouncer at my place, the old duddy fuddy. Uh…fuddy duddy."

I wasn't even going to try to decipher that crazy statement.

"You didn't drive in this condition, did you?" I asked worriedly, rushing to my window to look out on the street. I was relieved to see his limo parked at the curb, his driver enjoying a smoke as he waited.

"No, but a crash wouldn't have killed me. Would have hurt the Ferrari though."

"Kind of you to take into consideration all the other drivers on the road," I said dryly. "What are you doing here at—" I looked at the wall clock and blanched in annoyance—"one o'clock in the morning?"

"Sorry," he slurred, "I just wanted to know if you'd heard from Simone." I regarded him a moment with pity. She really must be doing a number on him for always-in-control Josef Kostan to make a drunken pilgrimage for information on his absent fiancé.

"Yes, she called yesterday. She's still in New York, trying to work things out."

"Well, she needs to be here, working things out with me," he said angrily. I silently agreed, but I was torn between loyalty to my friend and compassion for Josef.

"She'll come around eventually, you'll see." I got up and went to the refrigerator. "Let me get you some blood, Josef. I keep some here for Mick, and I bet it would do you some good right now."

"Awww…Mick. That lucky bastard. You wouldn't leave him for _your_ mother, would you?"

I found a bottle of the Red Cross's best, and brought it over to my drunken guest.

"No, but my parents are both dead. They died in a car accident about ten years ago. Drunk driver," I said meaningfully. He brought the bottle to his mouth and took a long draught, then looked blearily at the label. It was obviously not the type he preferred, given the sour expression on his face.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Beth. My parents are dead too."

"No kidding," I said, regarding the four-hundred-year-old vampire before me.

"But that's just my point," he continued, "you know a good thing when you've got it. You're loyal, you're beautiful, and have the nicest, sweetest, most shapely ass…" At my shocked expression, he practically giggled and took another swig from the bottle. "Oops! Did I say that out loud?"

"Okay, Prince Charming, time for you to go home. Where's your cell so you can call your driver up here?"

"You're kicking me out? So soon?" He was comically offended.

"Look, some of us have to go to work in the morning. Now hand it over." When he made no move to find his phone, I knelt down before him and began rooting through first his jacket pockets, then, reluctantly, his pants pockets. I tried to ignore his burgeoning erection as I continued my treasure hunt, attributing it to his inebriated state. I did finally find his phone-in his back pocket. I had to hoist him up a little to get to it.

"Bingo!" he said as I brought it out and handed it to him.

"Okay, now call."

"I can get back down there myself—" He tried to stand up, wobbled, then sat heavily back down.

"Call!"

He fumbled around with it a minute, squinting at the touch screen before finding the right icon to push.

"Hey Max. Come up here and get me. The lady is throwing me out. I'm in apartment—" He looked at me helplessly, trying to remember.

"Five," I supplied.

"Five," he repeated into the phone.

While we waited for his driver, Josef waxed philosophical about Mick being a party pooper, the high price of a good freshie, and the effectiveness of tequila over vodka. A soft knock alerted us to Max's arrival, a giant of a man who had no trouble getting Josef to his feet, then supporting him as he was half dragged, half walked to my door.

"Please see that he gets inside his house and that his butler takes care of him from there," I instructed, wincing when Josef began singing a song in what sounded to be very loud Russian.

"Josef..shhhhh…I have to live here, you know!"

"Sorry!" he said, sotto voce. Before he'd made it completely into the hall, his hand gripped the doorjamb, effectively stopping them both with a sharp jerk. He turned his head back to me with a dreamy smile.

"You really do have a nice ass, Beth," he said sincerely.

I laughed and shut the door on him, glad his vampire reflexes were working enough to remove his hand before he lost it.

As I was finishing my third cup of coffee at work late the next morning, a man in a florist cap brought to my desk a crystal vase filled with sweet-smelling gardenias. Mick was such a sweetheart. I wondered what the occasion could be. Had I forgotten something? I went to tip the delivery guy, but he politely refused, stating it was already taken care of. I thanked him and smiled, fishing in the bouquet for the card.

In a flowery hand that far belied the personality of the author, were three simple words:

_Forgive me._

_Josef_

I shook my head in surprise, then inhaled the luscious fragrance of my peace offering. Despite all his gruffness, Josef Kostan was really a very nice man. Too bad he'd never in a million years admit to such a weakness.

TBC

A/N: Well, do you like this start?

I think I set it up for all the confrontations/explanations/recriminations to come. Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapters 2 and 3

A/N: I'm very excited about the positive response to Chapter 1! Thanks so much! Now, for your reading pleasure (I hope), and because I couldn't wait, here is a supersize bonus for you. Two—Two—Two chapters in one! Enjoy!

Chapter 2

MICK

I woke up the next afternoon, still in a state of extreme annoyance where Josef was concerned. I could see he was just trying to find a way to cope with his problems, but it was clear that this behavior wasn't helping things. I mean, what if it had been Simone who had come home to crash the party? As brilliant a businessman as Josef was, he was worthless at female relationships, mainly because he didn't think much farther than the end of his dick.

Now I'm not saying I'm a genius with women, (witness the train wreck that was my marriage), but I thought more with my head and my heart, not with that other, less reliable part of my anatomy. Well, unless you count some of the nights when I visited Beth because, frankly, I was horny as hell. This evening was one of those times, and I was extremely hopeful that she was feeling the same way. Okay, call me a hypocrite, but I was in a committed relationship with the love of my life, not banging freshies on my living room floor.

I greeted Beth with a naughty smile, leaving her no doubt what I was there for. She recognized what was on my mind immediately, and languorously wrapped her arms around me, pulling my head down for a sensual kiss. While our tongues mated, our hands tangled in each other's hair, and I backed her inside her apartment, shutting the door behind us with my boot. I walked her to our favorite couch and pushed her gently down onto it. She gave me a sexy smile, and I immediately got to work on the lounge pants and t-shirt she wore, slipping my cool hands beneath them, excitedly seeking her warmth. We hadn't even said a word; our bodies were doing the communicating just fine.

I breathed in the scent of gardenias and… old vampire and…tequila? _ What the hell?_

I pulled away abruptly and stood up, watching Beth's eyes fly open in surprise, while her pulse still pounded and her body panted in unfulfilled passion.

"You mind telling me why Josef was here earlier?" I tried to make my voice sound casual, but I didn't expect to like what I was about to hear.

"Huh?"

"Josef. I can smell that he was here earlier."

She sat up, disoriented no doubt by my sudden new interest. She shook her head as if to clear it, then she smirked in remembrance.

"Yes, I had a drunken late-night visitor."

"Drunk? It takes a lot of alcohol to get a vampire drunk, Beth."

"Well, he was definitely drunk. He came over to ask if I'd heard from Simone."

I contemplated this a moment.

"He could have just called."

"Yeah, but drunk people don't always do the logical thing. And you should have seen him, Mick. He was pathetic. I let him talk, gave him some blood, then got his driver to take him home. Don't be too mad at him. He did send me flowers to apologize."

"Apologize for what?" I could tell she wasn't taking any of this seriously, but I don't think she realized that Josef had a thing for her, and that if he had done anything inappropriate, I might quite literally break his neck. I heard Beth's heart skip a beat at my tone (or was she protecting him?), and I braced myself for the worst, knowing that what she said next would determine Josef's future existence.

"It was nothing, Mick. Why are you getting so worked up about this? He misses Simone. He tried to drown his sorrows. Nothing we all haven't done at one time or another, right?"

"But he must have said something he regrets. It takes a lot for Josef to apologize."

Then I saw it. The tell-tale blush. He _had _said something.

"Beth?" I prompted, trying not to get angry.

She sighed. "He said I have a nice butt. That was it. He was drunk. Please, can't we just forget about it? It was nothing, really. I thought it was funny, in a sad, tragic sort of way."

I turned away from her then, unsure of how to react. Beth didn't seem to see anything significant about Josef's behavior toward her, and I wondered if I should mention my recent insight into his feelings and his subsequent confirmation of them. He had promised he wouldn't act on these feelings, and so far he hadn't. But personal comments and the fact that he was even looking at my girlfriend's ass did not sit well with me. Maybe I just needed to confront Josef about making unexpected visits to my girlfriend when I wasn't there. No need to make Beth uncomfortable around him. Josef usually had a limited attention span, and I was hoping this too would pass, and he'd start focusing his attentions on Simone as soon as she came back_. If_ she came back. Now that was a worrisome thought.

"Mick?"

I guess I had been quiet too long. I took a deep, unneeded breath, tried to look serene, and turned back to her.

"I'm sorry. I'm just worried about Josef. I went over there last night—before he apparently came over here—and he was having a big party, women being the only ones on the guest list. He's falling back into his old ways, Beth, and I'm afraid that if Simone finds out, that'll be the end for them for sure."

"Women? Is he sleeping with them?"

"Not that I saw, but his butler pretty well confirmed it for me. Maybe I shouldn't have told you. I know you'll feel obligated to tell Simone…"

"No. I won't. She left him, remember? Besides, it's not my news to share. Does that make me a bad friend?"

"Well, I can't judge you on that," I told her, sitting on the couch beside her. "I've been pissed off at Josef all day, and not very supportive, myself. Now, I hear he came here bugging you—"

She placed two fingers on my lips to head off my rant. "Maybe we should just stay out of this, let them work things out on their own. If it's meant to be, it will happen, with or without our help." I kissed her fingers and felt the usual overwhelming feeling of love and protectiveness whenever I looked at her.

"You're right."

"I am?" she asked with mock incredulity.

I laughed. " Yes, smart ass, I can admit when you're right. But it happens so infrequently—"

I got a punch in the arm for that remark.

"Ow!" I exclaimed, but of course I barely felt it. I rubbed my upper arm for effect, then I hung my head, pretending to be disappointed. "I suppose this means you're no longer in the mood…" I looked slyly up with one eye, trying to gauge her interest.

With lightning fast reflexes that would do a vampire proud, she jumped on me, pushing me down on the couch again, her sweet body on top of mine this time. I caught her wriggling hips, holding them still so she could feel that _I _certainly was still in the mood. She leaned forward, her soft breasts resting on my chest.

"Now," she said silkily, her lips hovering over mine, "no more talk about Josef Kostan's love life. Time to focus on your own, vampire."

"Well, okay then," I agreed. And we picked up right where we'd left off.

JOSEF

_I was in danger of heading into stalker territory, _I told myself, as I parked across the street from Beth's condo. I looked up at the light streaming from her window. Mick's convertible was right in front of the door, and I had no doubt what he was doing up there with her. It's probably a good thing he was there, saving me from making a fool of myself for the second night in a row. Only this time, I wasn't drunk. My excuse was that I wanted to apologize again in person for showing up unannounced and wasted, and I was going to do that by showing up unannounced and sober. The irony was not lost on me.

I sighed and leaned my forehead against the steering wheel of the Ferrari. This obsession with her had to stop. Nothing remotely good could come of it. I loved Simone. I missed her with a sharp ache centered somewhere in the vicinity of my dead heart. So why the hell did I feel the need to effectively stake myself in the chest by throwing wild parties, having sex with strangers, and stalking Beth Turner?

If I could talk to Mick about this, he'd just call me an idiot, tell me to snap out of it. But I couldn't talk to Mick, because I was in love with his girlfriend, and also because I loved him like a brother. I was all I had right now, through no one's fault but my own.

"You're an idiot, Kostan," I said aloud. "Now, snap the hell out of it."

Okay, good. That sounded about right. I turned the key and pulled out onto the street, driving resolutely away from temptation. But I couldn't resist glancing up at Beth's window one last time as I drove by.

A/N: I took some creative license here. I know that in the show, Josh died in January, but my story takes place in the spring. Hope you'll forgive this little off-canon, blatant plot device.

Chapter 3

BETH

When I looked at the calendar the next morning, I realized the date had come around for the second time. The anniversary of Josh's death. It had snuck up on me this year, which only added to the guilty feelings I still had associated with his death. He had died because I had encouraged him to stay on the Tejada case, even though he had wanted to recuse himself. He had died believing I was still in love with him, when already my heart had been Mick's. He had died planning to propose to me, with the description of our first date on his lips. He had died, and I was never able to say I was sorry.

There was only one other person in this world who understood how I felt. I picked up the phone.

"Hi," I said to Mick.

"Hello, sweetheart. I was just about to hit the freezer."

I wiped the tears from my eyes. "I'm sorry. I just wanted-do you know what day it is?"

He was quiet a moment, then I heard his sad sigh. "Yeah, I remember. Are you okay?"

"Yes. I just can't believe it's been two years. Listen, I was thinking of taking a long lunch hour and visiting his grave. Can you come with me?"

"Oh, God, Beth, I can't. I have to testify in a missing person case I solved several months ago. I was just gonna get a few hours' sleep first, but we could go right now."

"No," I said, "you don't need to miss your rest. And besides, Ben's got me on that murder case, or I'd take off the whole day to remember him. I'll be alright. It's just…it's just a hard day for me."

"For me, too, Beth. I wish I could have done more."

"Don't. I've come to terms with that, Mick. And I'm still so grateful for what you did, for what you tried to do. No, I just want to remember him how he was, what a good man he was."

"And he loved you. I understand while you still grieve for him; his death was tragic and wasteful. I do still want to pay my respects, so I'll try to get by there tonight, maybe."

I tried to put a smile in my voice. "He would have liked that. Despite his jealousy of you, he respected you, Mick. For all my faults, I do have good taste in men."

"And Josh had good taste in women. Hey, you sure you're okay?"

I sniffed and grabbed a tissue. "Don't worry. I'll call you later. I love you. I love you so much."

"I love you too. Talk to you later."

I worked all morning, but my heart just wasn't in it. I called Josh's mom to renew my condolences, and she wished so much she could make it down from San Francisco, but her husband's health wasn't the best right now. I told her I'd do my best to stand in for her, to pass on her love. We were both crying when I hung up, and, looking at the clock, I saw it was already noon. I fixed my face a little and told Ben I'd be a little late coming back. I'm sure he noted how I'd been crying, but he respected my privacy, nodding in acknowledgement.

I parked as close as I could to Josh's grave, which was just down a hill in the shade of a huge juniper tree, its scent pungent in the air. I had brought flowers and a picnic, intending to share lunch with him like we always tried to do when work allowed. I spread out a blanket and sat down next to his stone, placing the white roses in the little built-in vase. I traced his name with my fingers, picturing his face, the dark eyes that would look at me so lovingly, the smile that always made me want to smile back. Before Mick, I would have spent my life with this man. I reached into my pocket and brought out the ring he would have given me, and my eyes blurred with tears as I sobbed.

JOSEF

I wasn't stalking her, really. I did have business downtown near Beth's office, so it wasn't exactly stalking when I just happened to drive by her work and see her getting into her car, was it? And she looked like she had been crying. Well, that did it. I had to make sure everything was alright. I mean, Mick would want me to look out for her, right? I looked at my watch, seeing that my meeting wasn't scheduled for another hour, and pulled into traffic, three cars behind her.

I followed her for about twenty minutes, and saw her turn into a cemetery. Curiouser and curiouser. Maybe she was going to a funeral. But the cemetery was practically empty, and I trailed an inconspicuous distance behind her, stopping my car in the shade, watching her take out a tote bag and a bouquet and walk up and over a small hill, out of sight.

I sat there a minute, debating what I should do. I looked at my cell phone, contemplating calling Mick, but he lived clear across town. It wouldn't be stalking her to find out if she was okay, would it?

_Awww, fuck it._

I got out of the car.

I trotted from tree to tree to stay out of the midday sun, and as I made it to the top of the hill, I heard her crying. I walked closer and saw the name on the headstone where she mourned: Josh Lindsey. I remembered Mick's sad story of how Beth's boyfriend had been murdered, how Beth had berated him for not turning him to save his life. At the time, I had just added it to the infinite list of things Mick could hate himself for, but seeing Beth now, so broken up even two years later, I suddenly understood why he would never want to be responsible for making Beth cry.

I should have turned around right then and given her some privacy. I should have, but _should-haves _had never compelled me to do anything before.

"Beth," I said softly. She turned around in surprise, and I inwardly cringed at the pain evident in her ravaged face.

"Josef. What are you doing here?"

I walked over to the shaded grave, my feet stopping at the edge of her plaid blanket. She looked up at me, confused no doubt about my incongruous presence there.

"Well, I was driving by your work and I saw you get in your car and you looked like you were upset so I followed you here to see if I could help-" I was babbling, and I stopped abruptly, feeling like the fool that I was.

"Oh. It's the anniversary of Josh's death, and I felt like I needed to be here. I wanted Mick to come, but he had this court thing. And I—I- ." She put her face in her hands, overcome with emotion. I dropped to my knees on the blanket beside her, not even thinking twice about gathering her shaking form into my arms, letting her bury her head in my shoulder and weep.

I patted her smooth curls and we stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity to me, until her sobs became whimpers, and her quavering breaths became more even. She suddenly pulled away, self-conscious of her outburst, wiping at her face with the backs of her hands. I reached into my inside breast pocket and pulled out a handkerchief, then began dabbing at her eyes like a child, brushing her golden hair away from her damp cheeks. Her watery blue eyes seemed to plead to me, but I didn't know for what. I moved in closer, her sweet lips just millimeters away, and I couldn't believe she was letting me, that I was letting myself. I closed my eyes and pressed my lips to hers.

I tasted strawberries and tears, felt the fullness of her trembling bottom lip before I pulled her in closer, deepening the kiss. And I felt…nothing. _How could this be? _I slipped my tongue inside her warm mouth, desperate to feel what I'd been working myself up to for months. Where was the all-consuming passion, the sensual pull, the desire to take her right now, even in the middle of a cemetery? My hands found her head, and I readjusted our connection, kissing her with every erotic trick I'd learned in the past four centuries. But I knew it was useless. No matter what I tried, soft and gentle, or deep and searching, it felt like I was kissing… _my sister_.

I sat back and opened my eyes, looking into Beth's stunned face. Thinking a moment, I realized that she hadn't once kissed me back, had only sat there, enduring my passionate onslaught. I guess she must have felt even less than me. Well, unless you count shock.

"Are you finished?" She asked tonelessly.

"Beth, I'm sor—"

I didn't see it coming, which is probably why her punch to my jaw knocked me on my ass. I laughed, tasting my own blood in my mouth.

"Well, I guess I deserved that.."

"And this—" added Mick.

I caught wind of him milliseconds before I felt myself flying through the air, then slamming hard into the juniper tree.

TBC…


	3. Chapter 4

A/N: Apparently, some of you don't like cliffhangers, lol, so I'm posting this quickly for you. Thanks to all you new readers out there—I would love to see you post as well. Don't worry, I'm actually not a vampire and won't bite, but reviews—good or bad- really help me try to be a better writer.

Chapter 4

JOSEF

Before I could even get up, Mick was in front of me, hauling me up by the collar of my best Versace dress shirt.

I put up my hands defensively. "Wait! Wait! I'm sorry! It was just a kiss! It didn't mean anything, I swear!"

But Mick was already totally vamped out, his silver eyes up close and personal. "You son of a bitch! You swore to me that you wouldn't touch her, and I swore to you that if you did, I'd rip your fuckin' head off, you self-centered, self-indulgent bastard!"

He pushed my head back into the tree, so hard I blacked out for a second.

"Mick, please—let me explain," I murmured, dazed. And then the pummeling began. I could have fought back. I was older, so I could have given him a run for his money. Except, I knew I had broken one of the cardinal rules of friendship, and he had every right to get even for that.

I kept hearing screaming, and wondered if it was from me, then, when the hitting suddenly stopped, I realized it had been Beth. I slumped to the base of the tree, my ears ringing, the blood from my nose mixing with the blood from my lip.

"Mick! Stop! You'll kill him!" I wanted to tell her he'd have to behead me or break my neck to do that, but I didn't want to give him any ideas.

"Yeah, Mick, you can stop now…" I muttered.

"You shut the hell up!" He turned to Beth. "I saw him kissing you, saw you punch him. What else did he do—was he feeling you up?"

"Huh? No! It was just a kiss, then a right hook. It was like kissing…my brother."

I laughed, then coughed, spitting up blood. "That's what I was trying to tell you," I said, trying to get up. Mick kicked my feet out from under me, and I landed in a heap again.

"Sit down and shut up, Josef, or I swear to God-!"

"Mick," Beth was saying, "you have to settle down. There was no harm done. It wasn't even much of a kiss."

"Hey!" I protested. I'd used some of my best moves, by God.

Mick finally seemed calm enough for Beth to put her hand on his arm, trying to calm him further. Her voice softened, like she was talking to a growling dog. Not too far off, really.

"Look, Mick, Josef was just…comforting me, that's all. I was pretty upset about Josh. He must have just gotten caught up in the moment."

I opened my mouth to concur, but Mick's eyes narrowed on me dangerously, so I closed it again.

"Yeah, I'll bet he did. He's just been waiting for the right opportunity to make a move on you, but it had to be when I wasn't around, the sneaky bastard."

"What?" Beth said, incredulous. "You've _known_ he might do this? Why didn't you warn me?"

I smirked, then grimaced in pain. Mick was apparently guilty of withholding valuable information. Well, not like I was _planning _this whole kissing debacle. It's true-I was just caught up in the moment. It was an accident, really. Mick looked sheepishly at Beth, then glared angrily in my general direction.

"I caught him looking at you in a certain way a couple months ago. I didn't like it. I warned him to stay the hell away from you, to get a handle on any misguided feelings he might have for you. He swore to me—" He clenched his jaw as if he were in pain, closing his eyes against it.

Suddenly, from out of nowhere, the guilt slammed into me harder than my recent collision with the juniper tree. I looked up at Mick, realizing that my selfishness, my inability to control my baser desires, had hurt my best friend more than I thought it could. I had counted on his anger; I hadn't counted on his obvious disappointment in me. I rose hesitantly to my feet, but he didn't stop me this time.

"Mick, you have every right to be pissed right now; I know I fucked up. This—this meant nothing. Just a kiss, like I said. I can guarantee you it will never happen again, that I was wrong about those feelings for Beth. I made a mistake. Can we please try to get past this?"

All the anger seemed to leave him at once, and his shoulders slumped in what I could only describe as defeat. He went over to Beth's makeshift picnic area, gathering up her things and putting them into the tote bag. He reached for her hand and she took it, but her eyes were on me. That connection I perceived from her _had_ been love, after all. Love for Mick. When I had kissed her, I had hurt Mick, and I couldn't at that moment see a way we could all come back from this. I almost wished he _had_ broken my neck.

"Josef," he finally said, his voice devoid of emotion. His eyes were dead as he handed down my sentence. "I never want to see you again."

Beth gasped and looked back at me as he pulled her by the hand back toward their cars.

"I'm sorry," she mouthed to me, then I watched in shock as they walked quickly over the hill, shielding his face from the sun with the bright red tote bag.

I grabbed my chest as if I'd been staked, reaching blindly for the tree's trunk to prop me up so I wouldn't fall down again. A few seconds later, I heard the unmistakable sound of crashing metal. I stumbled toward the hill, tripping on the damn juniper's exposed roots and landing with my face in the grass. When I got up to look, Mick and Beth were speeding away in his Mercedes. My vampire vision clearly made out the Ferrari, and it was just as I had feared. The driver's side door was completely smashed in.

I couldn't help but smile. He'd definitely found a way to hurt me where I lived, so to speak.

"Way to go, Mick," I said softly to the tombstones around me. But this was good news, I realized. I'd been scared when Mick had left me there, his face empty and blank. But plowing into my car showed me there was still anger there, which meant there was hope that this could still be fixed. He'd left me alive, hadn't he? I wasn't fooling myself though (for once); it would take a lot of sucking up and proving myself worthy again, but I would get him back.

I laughed, sucking in sharply from what were probably cracked ribs. I felt like Scarlett O'Hara (in a totally masculine, completely butch way), after Rhett Butler had told her he no longer gave a damn. Scarlett wasn't going to let a little thing like his leaving get her down. No, she planned to fight for him, as I was going to fight to win Mick's friendship back.

"After all," I said wistfully, "tomorrow is another day, my friend."

I limped back to my car, giving a low whistle as I surveyed the damage, laughing because I'd have to climb through the window to get into the driver's seat, and that was gonna hurt like hell.

MICK

I drove Beth back to the DA's office in silence. I'm sure she had been frightened by my violent, vamp-faced reaction. I had been too. I knew Beth wasn't hurt by Josef, that yes, it _was_ just a kiss. For one thing, he'd be dead right now if he'd tried to do more. I admired my own self-restraint. But he'd taken something from me today, and I wasn't talking about Beth. He took my trust, my respect , and my best friend. I felt almost as bereft as that day I thought he had been killed in his office explosion.

We sat in the parking lot, and Beth tentatively reached for my hand.

"Your car will be here when you get off work," I told her, not wanting to talk about this yet.

"Thanks… Mick—"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay, then I'll talk. I know you're angry—"

"That doesn't even begin to cover it."

"But Mick, you have to find a way to get past this. I know you don't want to hear the details of what happened, but I think you need to."

"No, I really don't"

I tried to disentangle her hand from mine, but she held fast, and I couldn't make her let go without hurting her. She squeezed tighter, urging me to look at her.

"When Josef…kissed me…we both knew it was just wrong. Not only because he was betraying you, but because there was no sexual connection. By the time he'd pulled away, we were both obviously relieved that it was over, that his little experiment, or whatever that was, had failed. It was like he was trying to decide something with that kiss. And now we both know that there could never be more than friendship between us, nothing more."

"I take it you didn't kiss him back…" I hadn't thought of that until that moment, but I had to be sure that she had not wanted it, had not felt anything when my former best friend had his tongue down her throat.

"You didn't see me punch him?" she asked, grinning proudly while showing me the reddened knuckles of her right hand.

I brought her proffered hand up to kiss it. "I should stake him for that."

"To what end? You beat the hell out of him, and he learned a big lesson today. Josef Kostan can't always get what he wants, and sometimes he doesn't really even want it in the first place. Maybe that's what's really going on between him and Simone."

I wanted to jump at her excuses for him, to use them to forgive him and go back to the way things were. But forgiveness was obviously what he wanted, and I wasn't just going to hand that over to him too. I had to think about this. I guess Beth saw that I had heard her, so she loosened her hold on my hand.

"I don't know what I'm gonna do about this Beth. I need to think about it, okay? I get what happened, I do, but I certainly don't have to excuse it, and I need to figure out if I can ever trust him again."

She nodded, then reached over to kiss my cheek. "I understand. And it will be good to make him squirm. He deserves to, the idiot. I only wish I'd hit him harder."

I chuckled, remembering the image of Josef, knocked flat by a human girl half his height.

I got out of the car and opened the door for her, squinting in the sunlight, even with my sunglasses on.

"I love you, Mick, and I'm sorry if I somehow encouraged him, even unintentionally."

"This isn't your fault. You were the victim here."

She smiled mischievously. "The kiss wasn't _that_ bad."

I pulled her to me, capturing her lips with mine, feeling the sudden need to re-stake my claim, to prove to her just who knew the best way to kiss my Beth. When I lifted my head, we were both hot, me even more so from the heat of the direct sunlight.

"No one will ever love you like I do, Beth."

"Shhh…I know this. You don't have to prove anything to me." She tiptoed up to kiss me again, softly, gently, sweetly. "Now get out of this sun before you fry."

I got reluctantly back into the car and waved to her as she walked back into the building. I didn't know what I was going to do about Josef, but at that moment, I knew one thing for sure. I definitely needed a drink.

A/N: This may be the last chapter for about a week and a half. I'll be out of town, and may not have time or internet access. So, hope this will tide you over. Thanks in advance for any review bones you might throw my way hint hint.


	4. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

A/N: Sorry for the mix-up with posting the last chapter. Sometimes I get so excited to post, I miss important steps, lol. Well, I'm back from sunny Southern California, where I played tourist and saw relatives. I was mainly in San Diego, but made it up to LA and had fun imagining being in Mick and Josef's stomping grounds. Even went by La Brea, but I didn't see any of Josef's hidden bodies.

So, to reward you for the wait, here is an extra long chapter that I wrote "old school" in a notebook when I had a few minutes in my hotel room and on the plane. If you are new to my stories, the characters of Daryl and Carrie Morgan are vampires of my own invention, and you can read their backgrounds in my past stories, in particular "The Sire," but they make appearances in several of my fics. I tried to re-introduce them somewhat so you won't be totally lost. I do enjoy these two—they're like my own children, after all. Hope you like this chapter—please let me know what you think!

MICK

I was glad the Stake and Fang wasn't too far from the DA's office, since I found I was desperately in need of that drink. I walked into the vampire-friendly pub, where Daryl Morgan was pouring shots for a pair of vamps in business suits. He looked up as I entered, immediately assessed my mood, and brought out the best single malt from behind the bar.

"Bad day?" inquired my friend. I sat on a barstool.

"Depends on your point of view. You probably would think it a good thing that I just beat Josef Kostan to a pulp."

"I don't know," he said, filling my glass with scotch. "Kostan can be an ass, and sometimes could stand to be knocked down a peg or two, but you'd be the last person I'd expect to do the knocking."

I downed my drink and nodded for another. He didn't hesitate, for which I was eternally grateful.

"Yeah, I never imagined I would do it either."

I proceeded to tell him the whole sad story, and he was behind my actions one-hundred percent—except that if anyone ever tried anything with his wife, Carrie, they would have had more than two black eyes and a dented Ferrari.

_Thanks, cheri, _came the faint French accent in my head. His wife, Carrie, also a vampire, had come into the bar from the kitchen, tying on her apron and adjusting her long, black ponytail. It always was a little disconcerting hearing her voice in my head when she hadn't said a word out loud.

_Hello, Mick. Troubles with Beth?_

She came up and kissed me lightly on both cheeks.

"No, not with Beth. With Josef. He came on to her so I kicked his back-stabbing ass."

_Well done. Did you come to ask for help disposing of the body?_

I laughed, my glass an inch from my lips. "I found I couldn't kill him, much as I wanted to. But thanks for the support."

She smiled, and I was struck as usual by her exotic beauty. _I cannot see you two apart for too long. You are too much like brothers._

I snorted, setting down my glass for a refill. "Ever heard of Cain and Abel?" I asked dryly.

A customer was calling for Carrie from one of the pub's booths. Carrie touched my shoulder.

_All will be well._

"I wish I had her confidence," I said to Daryl. "I can't begin to know how to forgive him for this. I trusted him with my life on more than one occasion. I thought I could trust him with Beth…"

Daryl was quiet a minute, and I tuned in to the other sounds around me. The Southern Rock emanating from the corner juke box, the chatter from the booths, the pool table balls clinking as someone started a new game, the general tinkling of glassware.

Finally, I heard Daryl say softly: "Forgiveness is more for you than the other person, Mick."

And then it hit me, and I was embarrassed to realize what a hypocrite I was. Daryl and I were only now recovering from the rift in our friendship about six months ago. A rift caused by my unfortunate realization that I had accidentally sired him fifty years before. Daryl's reaction to me had been similar to my reaction to Josef. I still had the internal scars to prove it.

I looked meekly into Daryl's serious eyes, remembering vividly how it felt to have one of my oldest friends hate me for something I'd done. How I'd felt physically was nothing compared to the beating I'd given myself for the long-ago mistake.

"There's a difference," I said, still trying desperately to justify my anger. "What I did to you…well, I had only the best intentions. While Josef…"

"You said Josef has apparently had a thing for Beth since what—two years ago? I'm not defending him, but from what I know of Josef Kostan, he must have been exerting Herculean self-control all this time, likely out of loyalty to you. And then, all he did was _kiss_ her?"

"Yeah, but—"

"The question you should be asking yourself," Daryl interrupted, "is if one moment of weakness is worth losing a friendship of over fifty years." He looked at me and smirked, then filled a new glass with fresh O neg. "I guess you know how _I _answered that question."

I smiled and obediently drank my blood. "Now you've gone all bartender on me, what with all the empathy stuff and the sage advice."

"That's what makes me so successful, Mick." He indicated the jovial tables and relaxed atmosphere. I knew he was right, though. He began absently wiping down the bar.

"That doesn't mean you can't make him suffer a little," he said slyly.

"You didn't do that to me."

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh? I treated you like shit, even after I beat it out of you."

"Ha. After I _let_ you—"

His eyes narrowed, and he purposefully flexed his impressive biceps beneath the skin-tight pub logo t-shirt he wore. Well, he had a point there, but still…

"Seems to me that, like Hercules, he should go through a few trials to make it up to you."

"What, you mean like kill a lion or de-girdle an Amazon? Well, he'd probably actually like that last one…"

Daryl laughed, drawing the appreciative attention from a couple ladies at the other end of the bar. "I don't know. If he is as eager as I suspect to get back in your good graces, he'll be willing to do about anything."

I contemplated this, knowing before that I couldn't make it easy on Josef, but not really thinking of it in concrete terms.

"Like what?" I asked.

"What does Josef Kostan value most in the world?"

"Money!" we both said in unison, both of us smiling.

"Trouble with that," I ventured, "is it might hurt him for a minute, but he has somewhere in the neighborhood of ten billion dollars, so it's not likely to hurt for long."

We were both quiet, then I heard Daryl mutter, "Ten billion? Jesus, Mary, and Joseph."

I chuckled. "Okay, we need to go for what's left of his heart, 'cause that's where he attacked me. For Josef, it's women—Simone specifically—but she's already taken care of that for us by leaving him. There's our friendship, which is already torturous right now. And don't forget the Ferrari—but I think I can already check that off my list."

The sweet satisfaction of ramming his car door, the cheerful bending of metal, was way worth the minor repairs I'd have with the Mercedes' bumper.

"Come to think of it, he's already suffering on the heart stuff. Money it is, then."

"Is there a charity he despises?" asked Daryl mischievously. "Save the Whales? Homeless shelters? Children's hospitals? The Humane Society?"

I laughed. "I can see it now. _Kostan's Home for Homeless Stray Kittens_."

"You could just bring your flamethrower and get it over with," Daryl suggested.

"Anyone ever tell you, you have a sadistic streak?"

"Vampire at heart, my friend."

I finished my blood and pondered my next move. Part of me wanted to find Josef and beat up on him some more. Part of me wanted to show up on his doorstep and act like nothing ever happened, that his smirky, over-indulgent, smart-ass mouth had never been on my Beth's.

As usual, I tried to pay for my drinks. As usual, Daryl brushed my money aside. He wished me luck.

"Thanks, man. I'm gonna need it."

As I was leaving, Carrie's voice entered my mind from across the bar.

_Josef loves you, Mick. He is just a little lost right now. Be patient._

My eyes met hers, and I nodded in understanding. "Thanks," I mouthed. She gave me one of those brilliant smiles which no doubt had bound Daryl to her forever.

JOSEF

Even though I had already begun to heal from Mick's revenge beating earlier, the ice mask on my eyes felt really good, as did the massage the lovely Caroline was administering, carefully avoiding my wrapped ribs. I was back at my house on the patio near the pool, and, after submitting to Niles's nursemaid act and some reviving blood from a freshie, I was well on my way to recovery. At least physically. The way Mick and I left things weighed heavily on my mind.

As if summoned by magic, I heard the familiar purr of Mick's Mercedes coming up the drive. Was he back for another pound of flesh? I decided I'd play it cool and allow Caroline to continue her good work, but I was no longer relaxed. A minute later, Mick's knock was greeted by Niles's welcoming tones. I tensed, and Caroline commented on the sudden stiffness in my shoulders.

"You make me stiff in all kinds of places, baby, " I said offhandedly.

She laughed sexily at my wickedness, as I had intended.

"Josef," said Mick formally. "May I have a word? Alone?"

I sat up carefully and sent Sweet Caroline on her way, removing the ice pack, hating how nervous I felt now with this man I loved like a brother. So I used my best defense mechanism—sarcasm.

"If you are back for round two, I gotta tell ya, I only have so many ribs for you to break. Let me just concede right now and let you avoid the trouble."

He couldn't quite hide the flash of guilt at the first sight of my black eyes, split lips, and wrapped ribs, and I winced in pain at my sudden grin.

"No," he replied, "I'm here to try to come to some sort of…understanding. I'm still pissed with you, but I honestly don't want to feel like this anymore."

"That's just the scotch talking," I said, having scented the liquor the moment he'd entered the patio. It wasn't like Mick to drink so much.

"I did just come from Daryl's bar. He helped me see things a bit more clearly."

"Oh?" I said dryly. "I'll bet. Morgan just tolerates me because I'm your—" I didn't know how to finish that statement, so the unspoken words hung awkwardly in the air. It's funny how just kissing your best friend's girl can change your status really quick.

"Daryl thinks you should be made to suffer a bit for what you've done. Beth agrees."

_Mick thinks I'm not suffering enough here?_

"She does, huh? Seems to me my jaw is still suffering from that sucker punch she snuck in."

"No less than you deserved, don't you think?"

"True," I allowed. I got gingerly up from the massage table and grabbed the clean silk shirt Niles had left me. I sucked in as the muscles around my ribs pulled. Mick almost reached out to help me with my shirt, but immediately stopped himself. I finished pulling on the sleeves myself and began buttoning, feeling another twinge of hope in his instinctive act of friendship. Old habits…

"So, what's the verdict from you, Mick? The rack? Waterboarding? Thumbscrews?" 

A smile played around his lips, but he put the kibosh on that too. Score another one for me.

"Penance, Josef. Of your own choosing."

I regarded him a moment, trying to comprehend what he was getting at. He noticed my apparent confusion, and helpfully clarified. "Something money can't buy."

"So…let me get this straight. You want me to pay for what I've done, but not with money? If you want guilt and remorse, Mick, I'm rolling in it right now. I've paid with my face and my ribs—and would you like me to show you the bruises on my ass? What could I possibly do to make this up to you? I'm sorry, Mick. I've been an asshole and I crossed over a line I should have stayed well clear of. I betrayed you—" Mortified, I felt my eyes well with unshed tears, and I looked away, trying to find some self-control, something highly illusive for me lately.

"I'm glad you understand the gravity of the situation, Josef," he said sincerely, "but everything seems to come too easily for you. This is too important to just let slide by. I want to forgive you, but I want actions, not just words."

"Can you be more specific?" I asked, still at a loss. Mick wandered over to the glass door, looking out at the pool without seeming to see it.

"You took something from me—from _us. _You took my trust, my friendship, my girl, like they meant nothing to you. I want you to give up something that means something to _you_. Something that might balance the scales a bit, make me believe you are seriously interested in making amends. What you choose is up to you. I'll know as well as you if it's an appropriate sacrifice."

He turned back and looked me squarely in the eye. "Let me know when you've done it. I believe you'll make the right decision."

He turned to go, but I needed clarification on one last item. "If I am successful at this test of yours, can we get past this—go back to the way things were? Maybe never speak of it again?" I felt myself almost begging, and it washed over me again how important he was in my life, that yes, I would in fact give up anything for him. He hesitated, and I felt my insides clench.

"Yes, Josef. And _I _always keep my promises."

With that parting shot, he left the way he came, and I stood there watching him, feeling like he'd slugged me one more time—this time, in the gut.

TBC


	5. Chapter 6

A/N: Thanks for all those great reviews and for those who have made me their favorite (!) or requested updates of this story. You guys rock! I'm getting this chapter out a little faster than I expected, given just how busy I've been, but I was inspired. Let me caution you- the second part of this chapter might be a little disturbing to some. Proceed at your own risk.

Chapter 6

BETH

It had been a long day, and all I wanted to do was pour myself a glass of wine, pop some leftover Chinese food into the microwave, and relax. But it wasn't to be. Josef Kostan was waiting for me in his blue BMW across from my condo. I pulled into my usual space in front, asked God for strength, and crossed the street to meet him. He rolled down his window and I felt the frigid air from his air conditioner.

"You look like hell," I said without sympathy.

"Why thank you, Beth. Good to see you too."

"What do you want?"

"To apologize. Again. To tell you I was leaving town for a few days."

"I'm not sure I'm ready to accept your apology, and why do you feel the need for me to keep tabs on you?"

He hesitated, looking away, then back at me. "Just in case Mick tried to get in touch with me. You and Mick are my only…family."

Josef was a big part of why my day had sucked, and I wasn't feeling particularly patient with him. My knuckle still hurt from punching him, and my heart was hurting for Mick at his best friend's betrayal. To me, that damned kiss was a non-issue, but what hurt Mick, hurt me.

"Why don't you tell him yourself? No—wait." I slapped my forehead for effect. "You just screwed things up with him, and I seriously doubt he'll be contacting you any time soon."

"Actually, he was just at my house a couple hours ago. He's not answering my calls now…"

I stayed quiet, letting my silence speak for itself. I crossed my arms in annoyance. I even tapped my foot. He continued, undaunted.

"And yes, the general consensus is that I fucked up, but could you give him a message for me? Tell him…I'm doing what he asked. It'll take a few days, but I'll call him when I get back."

I met his brown eyes, suddenly missing the sparkle of mischief I usually saw there. I felt my face soften. He did look like he'd been hit by a truck. I knew he'd be completely healed in a day or two, but he was looking pretty pitiful right now, and I wasn't just talking about his injuries.

"Okay," I said finally, cursing myself at my lack of fortitude. "I'll tell him. But I don't think he'll like that you dropped by again."

He smirked. "Yeah, I took my life in my hands coming here. But I know you didn't feel what I didn't feel, back there in the cemetery. You can't blame a guy for trying, though."

"Actually I can. I do. I'm not mad at you for me, Josef, I'm mad because you even thought I would cheat on Mick. With _you. Especially_ with you. You seriously need to get your shit together, and start working on getting Simone back. And you'd better pray she doesn't find out about this, or you'll lose her forever."

He hesitated, his eyes widening at my words. He swallowed. "Are you…are you going to tell her?"

I looked at him, at how remorse was nearly oozing out of his pores. This could be a way to make him suffer. But I always felt sorry for kicked puppies. What can I tell you—it was a weakness of mine.

"No, not now," I conceded reluctantly. "Not unless she asks me directly. But you'd better make this up to Mick somehow, or I just might."

He laughed a little. "You're scary when you blackmail."

I leaned down so I was right in his face. "Josef, you ever hurt Mick again like this, and you'll experience a whole new definition of scary. What he did to you will look like child's play when I'm finished. Are we clear?"

He saw how serious I was, and while we both knew I wasn't much of a physical threat, the feeling behind my words was genuine. I could hurt him in all kinds of ways and he knew it.

"Crystal. And Beth, I really am sorry. It was a stupid impulse, and I'm paying for it, believe me. I don't want to lose Mick's friendship, or yours for that matter, Blondie. Can you—_will _you forgive me?"

"Yes. If you swear nothing like this will ever happen again, and that you do whatever Mick needs you to do to make this up to him."

He sighed, obviously, touchingly relieved. "Thanks," he said humbly. "I'm off to do just that."

"Can I tell him where?"

"No, but I promise I'll fill him in on all the details later. See ya around?" It was a question, not a statement. His eyes were pleading and hopeful at the same time.

I sighed and offered him a small smile. "You're an asshole, Josef Kostan, but fortunately for you, you're a loveable asshole. That's why I'm confident that, in time, Mick will forgive you. Just don't do anything else stupid. And yes, I'll see you around."

"Great."

His car window went up again, and he gave me that old, familiar elfin grin. I watched him speed away, nearly dizzy at the notion of how quickly things can change. Or maybe it was hunger, I thought, as my stomach growled insistently. If there were some egg foo young left, the day wouldn't be a total waste.

JOSEF

Her dark red hair cascaded over the cream satin pillow as I lay next to her on the bed. It was soft and smoothly curling, and I held a curl between my fingers, leaning in to smell its freshness. Honeysuckle. She always wore honeysuckle. It was sweet and innocent and old-fashioned, just like her. I wished she would open her lively green eyes, so I could see them light up as they always did when she saw me. I couldn't resist caressing her porcelain skin, warm and vibrant beneath my fingertips, and I gently kissed her soft cheek, hoping it would awaken her, like all those stupid fairy tales we read to children. Sarah Whitley was never going to wake up, but it was high time _I_ did.

I stayed there awhile, in her bedroom in the brownstone on Waverly Place, moving each lifeless finger to interlace with mine. I wondered for the millionth time if she dreamed, but the vampire doctor I'd hired had said he'd detected no brain waves. I lay my cheek on her chest, and I could still hear the steady thump of her heart, the shallow breaths that barely inflated her lungs. She was trapped between living and dying, somewhere between vampire and human. She required no human sustenance; the blood drip was all that was needed to keep her body alive. Her heart beat, but she hadn't aged in over fifty years. She was as perfect as the day I drained her body till her heart stopped, then tried in vain to revive her with my own.

"You're an anomaly," I said aloud, bringing her hand to my lips, "but then, you always were. What other kind of woman could make me go against all the rules I'd set for myself regarding human-vampire involvement? But I've left you in this limbo for far too long, a symbol of all the other selfish things I've ever done. I never thought of what this might be doing to you, to your soul. Mick's right. I am a self-centered bastard. So, I'm letting you go, my love. I'm setting you free." I felt the tears on my cheeks, but I let them fall unheeded.

I looked around the room, at this place that had been her prison for fifty years. It was decorated in soothing earth tones, and soft fabrics, gently lit in eternal readiness for her reawakening. But I'd just been fooling myself. There would be no cure. The vampire scientists and doctors I'd had on this for years had come up with nothing. None of them had ever seen a turning go wrong in quite this way. I would watch their pitying looks after each experiment was tried and failed, and it was all I could do not to snap their necks, both for their incompetence and their audacity to feel sorry for me. Sometimes, they were brave enough to point out that, even if we woke her from her coma, the lack of brain activity would mean she would never truly be with me again. But I refused to listen, or to let myself believe them. I only had to look at her beautiful, ageless face to allow my hopes to be restored. Now, I was finished lying to myself, and to her.

I got off the bed, let go of her hand, and wiped my face on my sleeve. I reached into my jacket pocket and drew out the syringe I'd brought, noting in some surprise that my hand didn't shake. The thought occurred to me that this was her lethal injection-potassium chloride-just like they gave inmates on death row. For a moment, second thoughts overwhelmed me and I froze, unsure if I could go through with this. I closed my eyes, willing the panic to subside. When I opened them again, I avoided looking at her; I knew her timeless beauty would weaken my resolve.

I went to the other side of the bed and clamped off her blood supply. Then, forcing myself to think clinically, I removed the cap from the syringe and turned her arm over. I took a deep, unneeded breath, and gently slipped the needle into her vein, pushing the plunger of the syringe, watching the liquid leave the clear plastic vial and journey into her body. When it was empty, I removed the needle, recapped it, and dropped it in the waste basket. It was only then that I could look at her again.

Nausea washed over me and I fell to my knees, disbelief at what I'd done making me feel physically ill. Almost desperately, I climbed back up to her bed, laying my head once again on her soft chest. As the poison made its way to her heart, it jerked and clenched, racing for a few moments before stopping, then, it resumed beating, more slowly, skipping beats now, and I listened for what seemed like hours between each faint thump. Her body gave a great sigh, and I heard her lungs release one last breath. Her heartbeat faded away like the delicate wings of a butterfly. And then she was gone.

I looked up at her face, surprised it still looked the same. From my pants pocket I took the little red flannel bag that contained my heart, the symbolic one I'd given her so long ago on that spring day in Central Park. I reached up and lifted her head so I could fasten it around her neck, laying her gently back on the pillow, adjusting the gold chain and heart so it rested perfectly in the sweet valley between her breasts. She was dressed in powder blue today, the frilly nightgown one of the many expensive pieces I'd contributed to her trousseau over the years. It had been one of her favorite colors.

A sob suddenly escaped my lips, ripping from somewhere in the vicinity of my dead heart. My head dropped again to her chest, and I squeezed my eyes shut, balling like a baby long after her body turned cold.

I don't know how long I lay there, but I could tell by the light that it was dawn. I'd given Paula, her caregiver, the night off, and I heard the front door open quietly as she came in to relieve me. I got up and straightened my suit and tie, running my hands through my matted hair. I was just pouring myself a drink when she came in the open door of the bedroom. She looked from me to Sarah and back to me again, and I saw in her face the instant she realized what I had done. She nodded to me in understanding, and went over to Sarah to take her hand. Of course, there was no pulse, no warmth. She was just a shell, but I guess the only difference was that before, she was a warm shell.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Kostan, for your loss. I think she must be at peace now."

Paula had been about tenth in the long succession of caregivers and hired nurses over the past fifty years. A vampire herself, she knew the whole sad story, and empathized. I liked her because she looked on me with understanding instead of pity. I was sorry her services were no longer needed. I sniffed a little as the tears threatened again, downing my drink to cover my emotion.

"Would you like me to take care of any particular…arrangements?" She asked after a few moments.

"I'll have someone remove the—remove her to the crematorium. I've instructed that her ashes be spread in Central Park. She loved it there."

She smiled a little in sympathy.

"Thank you," I told her, "for your years of service. I'll be sure you get a bonus, and top references from me."

"It was my honor, Mr. Kostan. There was something ethereal about her. Like an angel."

Paula came over and touched my arm, then left as quietly as she'd come.

I suddenly couldn't be there anymore, myself. I went over to Sarah and leaned down to softly press my lips to hers. I pulled the sheet up over her head, the sudden feeling of relief making me feel guilty at the same time. But I knew I'd done the right thing for her. For me. Yeah, and originally it had also been to fulfill Mick's requirements, but the minute I'd gotten there, Mick hadn't even entered my mind. Mostly, I knew now, I'd done it for Sarah, and for the sanctity of her memory, of the love we had shared

"Goodbye, my love," I whispered. I walked out of the house and down the steps to my waiting limo, allowing the driver to open the door for me.

"Where to, sir?" He asked after we were both settled inside.

"To the Dakota," I told him. There was something else I had to put to rights.

A/N: I know this chapter might be controversial for some of you, but please remember, this is something the **character** of Josef did. I tried to emphasize that Sarah was brain dead, and that there was no hope of her ever awakening. To those of you who have had to make a difficult choice like this in your life, my heart goes out to you. I tried to handle this with respect for people who've been in this awful position.

That being said, if you've only been lurking out there, I hope you feel compelled enough to let me know what you think of my work. It means so much to me that people—actual people—are reading this. Your reviews keep me motivated. Thanks in advance! More soon.


	6. Chapter 7

A/N: Thanks so much for the positive reviews of my last chapter. I was really worried some might be offended, but the readers I heard from seemed to know where I was coming from. Thanks for that!

This chapter is fraught with exposition and long speeches, but since we haven't heard from Simone in awhile, I felt it necessary. I'm not apologizing, because I'm proud of this chapter—just putting you on notice that I used lots of words, lol.

Chapter 7

SIMONE

It had been three weeks, and I missed Josef like crazy. Of course, it was all my fault; I had neither called nor written to him. I visited my parents daily, and I constantly worked on my mother by singing Josef's praises. Her standard reply was always:

"If he's so great, why isn't he here with you?"

But how could I explain the situation without hurting her feelings, or without telling her what I had become? And I didn't mean a vampire. I was a fraud. A woman who seemed strong and independent on the outside, but, deep down, was a little girl crying for her mommy's approval. She wouldn't understand. She wouldn't be able to see just how screwed up I was because of her. And even though I knew I shouldn't need her approval, I still craved it, sought it out like manna from heaven.

She constantly hounded me about my eating habits (or lack thereof, at least in her presence), my paleness, my coldness. She attributed it all to anemia and an unhealthy lifestyle. LA had finally gotten to me, she had stated on more than one occasion. Well, something had to give, or I would be doomed to an eternity of self-doubt and self-imposed imprisonment. One thing my stay in New York had taught me though: staying near my mother was not the answer. It helped nothing. It changed nothing. I wanted to go home. To LA. To Josef. If he would still have me.

I packed my bag and checked out of my hotel room, then headed to my parents' apartment. It was just past dawn, and I was tired and in need of the freezer, but I knew myself well enough to know that I'd better leave while I felt strong enough emotionally to do it. The hard part, of course, would be trying to explain this to my parents when I barely understood it myself.

The taxi let me off in front of the Dakota and I went in with the tip of the doorman's hat. Outside their door, I paused, trying to summon the courage to knock. After two unanswered tries, I let myself in with the key Mother had given me. They weren't home. I sighed and went over to the couch, preparing myself for a long wait. I'd just gotten comfortable with one of Mother's news magazines, when someone else knocked on their door.

I stood up and stopped short, instinctively sniffing the air. A vampire was on the other side of that door. I sniffed again. _Josef. Oh my God. What do I do? I wasn't ready to see him yet; not this minute. I could pretend no one was home, but of course, he was certainly smelling me right now if I could smell him. Damn vampire senses. Buck up, Simone._

I went to the door and opened it. Standing before me was a Josef I barely recognized. He looked so tired, and his clothes looked slept in. I detected faint bruising around his eyes, and his cheeks were gaunt. But beneath his haggard appearance, a spark of determination lit his eyes as he took me in. Next thing I knew, he had pulled me into an embrace.

"Simone…" he breathed into my hair, his arms like bands around me, holding me to him like a man coming home. "Simone…"

Without thought, I hugged him back, wanting to cry out at the relief I felt being back in his arms. He smelled faintly of expensive cologne and whiskey, and the hair at the back of his neck was as soft as I remembered it. I played with it as we stood there a minute, lost in each other, my cheek on his shoulder, his hands at my hips. He was the one to finally lean back a bit, his hands going up to cup my face. He kissed me lightly on the lips and stepped away. I wanted nothing more at that moment than to fuse our mouths together, to make up for the weeks that I had pushed him away. He left me a little stunned in the doorway, and walked on past me into the parlor, making himself at home on the couch I'd just left. I slowly shut the door.

"So, where are the parents?" His eyes strayed back to the foyer where I stood, then to the floor where I'd left my suitcase. Before I could reply to the first question, he asked: "Going somewhere?" 

"I don't know where they are. I just dropped in to say…goodbye."

He raised an eyebrow, waiting for me to answer question number two. I had hoped I would have the long plane ride to come up with all the answers he would want, so his unexpected appearance had definitely thrown me off. "I was on my way back to LA, actually. Your timing was excellent, as usual."

He grinned. "Really? And have you come to any conclusions?"

I sat in the chair across from him, though every instinct cried out to snuggle up to him on the couch.

"Yes. And no."

He was being unusually patient with me. Normally, he'd press and press me for answers, or become visibly frustrated or angry. This Josef was unaccountably mellow. He waited for me to collect myself, to continue my reply.

"I want to be with you, Josef. I want to marry you…someday. But I don't think I'm ready now to—" I felt my eyes darting around the room, at Dad's paintings, the vase on the mantle, the oriental rug beneath my feet—anywhere but into Josef's soft brown eyes. "I don't want to live with you…for now."

There. I'd gotten that out, and I was able to look at him again, though my hands were shaking and I felt near tears.

"Why not?" He asked simply.

I may as well get it all out, I thought. "I'm still working on that independence thing. Can you understand this? I know I'll still need your advice about how to be a vampire, but can't I do that from my own house?"

He regarded me a minute, and there was no trace of anger or disappointment.

"The last thing I want to do it tie you down when you're not ready. I'll always be there for you, Simone. I love you. The marriage offer still stands, and since you're still wearing my ring, it appears you feel the same way. You know, the great thing about being a vampire is we have all the time in the world to make these decisions. You can have all the time you need. I just want you home, where I can see you, touch you, make love to you. That is, if you still want me in that way."

His voice had gone soft and seductive, and I was drawn in by his words. Of course I still wanted him. Every fiber of my being called out for him. But I stayed where I sat, feeling suddenly like something had changed him. He'd been through something in these past weeks that I was not privy to, but it was something profound, life-altering, and I was afraid suddenly to know what it was. But afraid or not, it seemed imperative that I find out before I flew back to LA with him.

"Yes, I still want you," I told him. His eyes lit up with what looked like hope. "But you need to tell me right now what's going on with you. Why do you look like you've been hit by a truck? You're recovering from two black eyes—I can tell. You've been in a fight, haven't you? And you haven't been sleeping or eating right—I can tell that, too."

He sighed and his eyes seemed to take the same trip around the room that mine had when I'd been at a loss for words. He smiled tightly, and he laughed suddenly, humorlessly.

"Well…now that's a big can of worms. Actually, it's more like a barrel. I don't know—do worms come in barrels?" His hands went to his hair in his usual display of nerves. He laughed again, and this time, I had to reach deeply for my own patience. "So," he continued, " do you want the bad news, the really bad news, or the really, awful, gut-wrenching news? I've got it all right here: _Josef Kostan: Confessions of a Vampire Fuck-up."_

"Just start at the beginning, Josef," I encouraged, though of course, now that I asked, I wanted to take back the questions immediately. He looked briefly like a man stepping before a firing squad, then, in typical Josef style, he grabbed the guns and began firing off his sins, one by one.

"Okay..where to begin? Let's start with the drinking binges and the orgies. Yeah, that's been fun. I've cheated on you in so many ways, in so many positions, it even boggles my mind to think about it. Oh, but it just gets better and better. I kissed Beth in a way that you could never call sisterly. Mick didn't seem to like that much—hence the black eyes you can see, and the broken ribs you can't. Then, to top that off, I just got back from killing Sarah Whitely. That's my news. What's been going on in your world?"

I knew my jaw had dropped in shock, and I stared at him, dumbfounded. I didn't know which confession to latch on to first. Josef was always surprising me. I suddenly found it all very amusing. To both our surprise, I began to laugh, loudly and with much gusto. When I saw his face, now the one contorted in shock, it made me laugh all the harder. A minute or two later, and my hysteria had died, and I wiped away my tears of mirth. Josef hadn't joined in on my laughing binge. He sat there in amazement. _Now_ who was the surprised one?

"Well, now," I began when I could, ticking his crimes off on my fingers. "Let us take this one item at a time, shall we? Item one. The party of the first part—being you—engaged in drunk and disorderly conduct and sexual congress with several other parties of the second part. Item two. Then, said suspect, being not of sound mind, and with head firmly up his ass, engaged in the likely uninvited osculation with a close personal friend that was NOT his fiancé—the party of the third part. Item three. Sexual partner of said party—of the fourth part- then proceeded to assault you in a totally understandable and non-criminal form of self-defense on behalf of his accosted partner. There. Does that about sum it up, counselor?"

He smirked in appreciation of my lawyer-ease. Then, his face became serious. "You forgot to mention what I did to Sarah."

I shook my head and held his gaze, my eyes softening at what must have been a painful, though long-overdue decision. "That's a separate issue. We'll deal with that one later. First, though, I need to pass judgment on your other set of crimes."

Josef and I had had a relationship for a few years, and only became exclusive for a little over a year. I was the one who had pushed him away. And while I didn't expect for him to go out and cheat on me, knowing Josef as I did, this part of his confession didn't surprise me much.

"Look, Josef, I get why you turned to the booze and the women. I bet most of them were faceless freshies to you, weren't they?"

He nodded solemnly, still waiting for my sentence.

"I can forgive this, because I know I made you feel like things might be over between us. But if I'm going back to you, you and I are going to be the only ones in your little orgies from now on, you hear me?"

"You mean, you're not mad about that?" He asked in disbelief.

"I didn't say that, Josef. I'm so pissed off right now, so jealous imagining you with other women, I'm tempted to find out their names and drain them all dry. But I understand it, because I put a lot of blame on myself. I'm going to try my best to put it behind me, if you tell me it won't ever happen again."

He gulped and put on his most sincere expression. "I am sorry, Simone. I was out of my head, and when the drinking didn't help, I combined it with sex, hoping that I could get you off my mind, at least for awhile. If it helps any, it didn't work, and it just made me feel worse. If you'll still have me, I swear I'll never do that again. No woman can compare to you, Simone. I swear to God that's true."

I nodded, afraid to speak to that as I prepared myself to address item two. "Now, about Beth…where the hell did that come from? I had a feeling there was something going on there, but I didn't want to believe that, convinced myself I was just imagining things. Are you—are you in love with her?"

His eyes fell to the floor, and I felt my stomach drop. Of all his crimes, this would be the worst. I couldn't be with a man who was in love with someone else. I couldn't—wouldn't share Josef with anyone, especially a woman I thought of like a sister. I knew though that Beth was madly in love with Mick, and I wondered with a brief flash of betrayal why she hadn't called to tell me what he'd done. But if the situation were reversed, would I have called her? Caused her unnecessary pain? I don't know. It would depend on the details, I supposed. I waited for Josef to share them.

"I thought I was. For about five minutes." He saw my reaction to this, no doubt saw the pain in my eyes. "But I was wrong, Simone. So to the extreme of wrong it's almost funny. I'd always been physically attracted to her, from the moment we met, but she belonged to Mick. Therein lay the attraction, I think. I was jealous that he had met her first. Beautiful, intelligent, funny, ambitious. The truth was, she was forbidden fruit to me, something I wasn't used to. When you and I became serious, I hoped these feelings would go away. And they did until you and I became committed. Mick figured it out when I was about to turn you, and warned me to get a grip, or else." He laughed. "Well, _or else_ happened, as you can see. Anyway, I've analyzed this over and over in my mind, and I guess it comes down to wanting what I couldn't have, the close quarters of the Winnebago, and both of our commitment issues. And when you left me…well I went into self-destruct mode, found a way to get Beth alone, and kissed the hell out of her."

"And…" I whispered.

He looked into my eyes, beseeching me to stay with him, to believe him. "I felt _nothing_, Simone. _She_ felt nothing. It was like a bad science experiment, that gained nothing but caused a huge explosion. First, Beth slugged me, then Mick took over and beat the shit out of me. The whole time he was whaling on me, all I was feeling was…relief. It was out of my system. I knew I didn't really love her. I knew we had no sexual chemistry. Unfortunately, Mick chose this time to stop being the loveable boy scout I've always known and thought I reviled. He hasn't forgiven me. And I'm not sure he ever really will. Beth has, though…contingent on Mick's feelings, of course. So, here I sit, in a shithole of my own making, praying that everyone I love and care about will see something in me worth hanging on to, worth risking their forgiveness on. So tell me, Your Honor, what say you?"

"_I'm_ sorry, Josef," I said at length, my tears flowing now. "I'm at least partly to blame for this. If I weren't so screwed up myself, I would have seen all of this coming. I would have shaken you and told you to snap out of it. But I was so pushy. I pushed you to commit to me, to turn me, to put up with my feelings of inadequacy, especially where my mother was concerned. I left you—more than once. Ran away like a baby, this last time to Mommy. I'm not going to judge you, Josef. You've paid for what you've done. You're still paying. I'm paying the price too, now, for leaving you, for being blind to what was going on under my nose. For not trying harder to understand you. For trying to change you. No wonder you fell back on your old habits. I'd be the biggest hypocrite in the world if I didn't take responsibility for my own part in this mess. Can _you _forgive _me_?"

He was on his knees at my feet in an instant, wrapping his arms around my waist, laying his head on my lap.

"Oh, God, Simone. There's nothing to forgive. Nothing. I love you, and only you. I want you, and only you. Please, give me another chance. Give _us _another chance." He looked up at me, his eyes watery and pleading. "Can we start fresh from here? No more pushing, no more pushing away? I don't know what I'll do if I've lost both you _and_ Mick."

I put my hands on either side of his adorable face, seeing it now through blurry eyes. "You haven't lost me, you idiot, and I don't think you'll be without Mick for long. We've both been stupid, you and I," I smiled. "Maybe you a little more than me, but that's par for the course, don't you think?"

He grinned. "I can't argue with that." We were both smiling as he drew me to my feet, and his lips came crashing down on mine at last. Things got out of control pretty quickly, the weeks apart having taken their toll. We explored with lips and hands, punctuated by soft moans and sighs, as we began to consume each other, each into each. Josef had just asked directions to the nearest bed when the sound of the key in the lock and the doorknob turning made us jump apart, panting our frustration. Arms overflowing with shopping bags and packages, my mother entered her home. Her eyes lit on me first, with joyous surprise, at once noting my disarrayed hair, both straps of my dress hanging down my arms, and the dazed, teary eyed expression I must have worn. Then, as if in slow motion, her sights were set on Josef, who had begun to re-button his shirt with vampire speed.

"You!" said my mother, as if she'd found a fly in her Chardonnay.

Josef gulped. "Oh fuck!" he said, too low for human hearing.

My sentiments exactly.

A/N: insert scary music here Next chapter, Elise strikes back, lol. I hope you liked this chapter. It felt so good to bring those crazy kids back together. I promise, it is the end of the angst between Simone and Josef. Not making any promises about Elise and Josef though…

Oh, and I must give credit to Alanis Morissete for the "fly in the Chardonnay" line, from her song "Ironic." I couldn't think of another description that would fit Elise's expression better. I welcome suggestions…lol.

Please let me know what you think!


	7. Chapter 8

A/N: I'm so pleased with all the positive feedback from my last chapter. Thanks so much to all of you for reading! The following chapter contains some rough language, and a word that I hate using, but seemed the worst possible word you could call a woman, so I had no choice but to use it, lol. You'll know what I mean when you get to it. Just cautioning you, since I'm writing this as a rated "T" story. Well, here' s some of the "M" I warned you might happen.

Chapter 8

JOSEF

Elise Walker, disgusted and offended, was truly a sight to behold. She flipped her platinum hair behind her shoulder and advanced on us, eyes shooting fire. I felt like Simone and I had been caught necking by the cops on lover's lane. I guess it wasn't too far from the truth.

I cleared my throat. "Mrs. Walker. Good to see you. Sorry, uh, for my lack of…" I struggled for the appropriate word, "…decorum. It's just that Simone and I haven't seen each other in three—"

"And whose fault is that?" she asked, setting down her groceries and walking closer into the sitting area. Well, I wasn't about to answer that one.

"Mine," replied Simone. "_I _sent him away, remember, Mother?" She reached for my hand. "I'm here to say good-bye to you and Daddy. I guess he's already at his studio."

"Good-bye? Why? What's changed, that you would go back to this—this _playboy_? What kind of life can you expect with him? I Googled him, Simone. I saw all the articles about his womanizing and wild parties. You think you'll ever be able to trust such a man?"

"Mother—"

"No, she's right, Simone,"I interrupted. "I'm sure everything you read about me was true, and there's lots of stuff I've done that never made it to the internet. But I'm a changed man. Simone has changed me. I'm more than willing to start a new life with her. To take care of her. You know I have the means to do it."

"It's not your money I'm worried about; she has her own money. No, I'm worried about you breaking her heart and embarrassing her in public with your orgies and your drugs."

_How'd she hear about the orgies?_

"I don't do drugs, ma'am, " I said solemnly, and she laughed.

"See, Simone, he can't deny the sleazy sex acts. Why can't you find someone else, someone more like that nice Mick St. John."

I snorted—I couldn't help myself. Simone would become bored with Mick's goody-two-shoes nature in about a week. Unless of course he was good in the sack, but I really didn't want to go _there_.

The dragon came closer, taking Simone's other hand, smoke seeming to seep from her nostrils.

"I'm not going to stand by and let you take my baby and turn her into someone like you," she continued.

_Well, too late for that. _I tried without success not to smirk.

She pulled on Simone's hand, and Simone would not release mine.

"Would you kindly quit with the tug-of-war," said Simone in annoyance. "Mother!" She yanked her hand away, no doubt having to use a bit of vamp force to do it. Elise looked down in shock.

"Simone! My hand!" And she held her supposedly injured claw—uh, hand—with the other.

_Going for the sympathy card. Nice._

"Mother, you're fine. Let's not make this any harder than it already is for me. I love you and Daddy, but I've had time to think things through, and I know I belong back in LA with Josef. We're still planning to get married. I hope that you'll make it to the wedding, regardless of what you feel right now."

Now the steam began to pour out of her ears. "Listen to me, young lady. If you're willing to become this man's trophy wife, give up all the good morals your father and I instilled in you, to marry this—this—_metro sexual_, this—this—_liberal, _well, you'll be doing it over my dead body."

Well, I'd had about enough of _that_ slander.

"Now see hear, Mrs. Walker. I voted Republican the last twenty elections!" _Oops. I should have only said two elections, but she wasn't really listening to me, anyway. And I was trying my damndest not to jump on that "dead body" remark._

"Quit being such a bitch, Mother," said Simone softly, and when I glanced at her face, her eyes were taking on a distinctly silver cast.

"What did you call me?" Elise sputtered. Furious, she raised her arm to slap Simone, but Simone's vampire reflexes kicked in, and she caught her wrist mid-strike. I could smell Simone's wrath and knew she was seconds from vamping out completely if I didn't do something.

"Ladies, ladies. Please!" I said, getting between them, trying gently to make Simone let go of the vice grip she had on her mother's wrist. "Ease up, baby," I said to her under my breath. Simone looked into my eyes, realizing what she had almost given away. She shook her head to clear it, slowly releasing Elise's wrist. She walked away, trying to restore her control.

"Everyone's emotions are running high, here. Let's not make this physical. Simone, honey," I said, as if to a frightened mare, "let's go before this gets out of hand."

Elise's angry breaths filled the room, as if revving up to spew fire. I could hear her heart pounding furiously beneath her scales—I mean, her chest. "Go, then. But if you do, don't expect me to run to your rescue when he throws you over for a younger model. That's what his kind does, Simone. I'm warning you."

She turned back to face her mother, completely calm now, no sign of silver or fangs. "I've been taking care of myself for years now, Mother, and I don't need anyone, not even you, to do it for me. I have my own job, my own house, my own life. And soon, I'll have a husband who loves me, who'll be my partner, not my parent." She moved to stand by my side, and I watched in awe as the butterfly finally escaped her cocoon. I took her hand and led her to the door. I reached to pick up her suitcase, but she got to it first, and damned if she didn't grab the handle herself. She turned back to Elise.

"Tell Daddy I love him, and I'm sorry I left without saying good-bye. Despite all of this, I would love to have you both at the wedding, but only if you can be supportive. And I love you too, Mother. I'm sorry you don't respect me, or my choices. But those are my own, too."

"No one will take you seriously anymore, Simone," said her mother, acid dripping from her tongue. "Your career will become a joke, and your face will be splashed over every gossip rag in the country. Everyone will believe you are just a money-grubbing whore, who couldn't make it without a rich man to fall back on."

Simone stared at her mother now, as if this time she _had_ actually been slapped.

I felt my body stiffen dangerously, and I fought now for my own self-control. I knew the best thing was just to get Simone out of there. I propelled her out the door before the shock could wear off, fearful that when it did, she might totally break down and undo all the good she'd just accomplished. As the door shut behind us, I heard the sound of something heavy landing hard against it, the crash of breaking glass. It sounded suspiciously like that vase from their mantle. I turned to Simone.

"Wait here. I'll see if she's alright."

Before she could protest, I went back into the dragon's lair, shutting the door again softly. Elise looked up in surprise from her crouched position, picking up large glass shards with one hand, wiping angry tears with the other. Slowly, she rose to her full height, every inch of her shaking, yet still obstinate and proud. Now I knew where Simone got her feistiness. I willed my fangs to emerge, my eyes to change, and watched in satisfaction as hers widened in horror. I got within an inch of her face.

"Now listen to me, you shriveled up old cunt. You ever talk to Simone like that again, and I'll rip your fuckin' throat out. And if you tell anyone what you saw here, mention even in passing what I've said, I'll know it. And there'll be no place on God's green earth you can hide from me, lady."

She still held a piece of glass in her hand, and I felt rather than saw what she intended to do with it. I grabbed that hand and held it lightly, but its sharp edge must have dug into her palm. I smelled her blood and heard her gasp of pain simultaneously.

"Uh, uh, uh," I cautioned, smiling around my fangs. I raised her bleeding hand to my mouth, squeezing her wrist so that she dropped the glass involuntarily. I slowly licked the warm blood from her palm, and she cringed at the rasp of my cold tongue. Her heart pounded in fear, so I knew she was taking me seriously. Good.

"So, do we have an understanding…_Mother_?"

She nodded in quick, jerky movements. My face slid smoothly back into its human form, and now I kissed her knuckles gallantly. "See you at the wedding?" I asked pleasantly. Her only reply was a mouse-like squeak. I smiled charmingly and took my leave.

Simone was waiting by the elevator. She looked at me in alarm, smelling her mother's blood .

"What happened in there?" she asked, eyes darting back toward her parents' apartment.

"I was helping your mother clean up the glass," I said nonchalantly.

"Is she okay?"

"She'll be fine. Just a little cut. I warned her to be careful around sharp objects." As she walked ahead of me into the elevator, I licked the residual blood from my teeth.

In the limo on the way to the airport, I pulled Simone close to me, smelling her hair, holding her hand in mine.

"Did you mean what you said in there," I asked tentatively, "about still planning to marry me? About us being…partners?"

"Yes," she breathed, as I fingered the pink diamond she still wore on her left hand.

"And you remember your promise to me a few weeks ago? About not running away when we have problems?"

"Yes. I promise. Never again." And she looked up into my face, her lips parting in wait for my kiss. I obliged her happily a few minutes before snuggling against her once again. We rode through New York traffic in silence, both our thoughts no doubt on the wonder of being together again, of the power of forgiveness. Speaking of which…

"Josef?"

"Hmmm?"

"You mentioned Sarah earlier. Are you ready to tell me what happened?"

I couldn't help cringing a little. The pain was still very raw, and I had to blink rapidly so I wouldn't embarrass myself with the tears that threatened. The morning's events had succeeded in taking my mind off why I had come to New York in the first place. I tried to find the words to tell her what I'd done, although I'm sure she had likely figured it out on her own.

"Josef?"

"Yes. Uh…yes, I guess I should tell you." I sighed. "It started out as a kind of penance. For Mick. He asked that I try to make up for what I did with Beth, by making a sacrifice." I laughed nervously. "I don't think he quite meant a _human_ sacrifice, though maybe that doesn't exactly apply…"

"And you thought of Sarah."

Of course, Simone knew all about her, how I'd failed in Sarah's turning. It had been an excuse for not trying it with her, in the beginning.

"Yes. And when I went to see her, to do the deed, it instantly became more about her than about me or Mick. It was something I'd been putting off for years. It's what stood in the way of being closer to you, Simone. It kept me from turning you. It kept me from fully committing to you, even though I'd already proposed. Sarah—well, she was always in the back of my mind, haunting my decisions like a ghost. Yet she wasn't a ghost exactly. She was a living, breathing being, not fully alive, but certainly not fully dead. And it wasn't right to keep her in that limbo. I was selfishly holding onto her, to a lovely memory that could never be real again."

"So you…ended it?

I pressed my lips to her hair. "Yes," I said softly. "I killed her. Deliberately. With a poison meant to stop her heart. And it was quick. Quicker even than I expected. I didn't want her to starve to death, to slowly watch her shrivel up and fade away to nothing. It would have been just as cruel as letting her body live with no purpose but to prolong my unfounded hopes. I'm sure you must think I'm a murderer."

"But Josef, you _are_ a murderer. Many times over, if I'm to believe your stories about the tar pits." She pulled away from my embrace so she could look me in the eye, let me see the brief flash of humor there. "But in this case. In this, you showed mercy. You freed her from that limbo you mentioned. Wouldn't you have wanted someone to do that for you? Don't you think Sarah would have wanted that, especially after you found there would be no way to save her? Would she have wanted you to have her existence prevent you from finding true happiness?"

I looked into Simone's eyes, shining with the light of understanding. She loved me, probably more than Sarah ever had, or at least more than she had had a chance to. And if I were being honest with myself, I loved Simone more than I ever loved Sarah. It was a truth both painful and awesome. A wave of peace washed over me, and I pulled Simone onto my lap, kissing her sweetly, relieved at last of this burden I'd carried all these years.

"I love you," I whispered against her mouth. "You know me better than I know myself."

A red-tipped finger reached up to trace my lips. "And you know me, my weaknesses, my flaws, but still, you came for me. You forgave me. We're going to be alright, Josef."

"More than alright," I said, taking her mouth again. From then on, we almost welcomed the slowness of the morning traffic.

TBC

A/N: Please review if you have a second. I'm seriously addicted to them!

Next up—Mick's reaction to Josef's sacrifice.


	8. Chapter 9: Conclusion

A/N: Well, here I am at the end of story #11! I can hardly believe it. I hope so much that you liked it. Oh, and this chapter has some more "M" worthy material, so be warned!

Chapter 9: Conclusion

MICK

On my return journey back up Beth's body, I stopped and kissed the inside of one warm thigh, feeling her tremble, hearing her breath and her heart speed up in unison. I smiled as she began to plead for what she wanted, but I teased her some more, moving up to her flat stomach, then back down to the other thigh.

"I swear to God Mick, I'm gonna faint if you don't quit torturing me."

I chuckled and slithered up her body to kiss her to silence, hearing myself groan as she raised her hips and employed her own sweet torment. Then, since I couldn't withstand much more of that, I moved back down and got to work, gratifying us both as her cries filled my bedroom. When she was suitably dazed, I joined slowly with her body, one hand at her breast, the other dropping between us to pleasure her again. As my own excitement mounted, I buried my fangs into her neck, feeling like I was falling off a huge precipice at the overwhelming assault on my senses—her blood in my mouth, my body quivering within hers, the sound of our mutual moans of satisfaction. I lay upon her, all of my extremities tingling. When she sensed I wasn't giving her all of my weight, she pulled me down roughly, holding me in a tight embrace.

"Stay with me," she whispered.

I licked gently at the wound on her neck. "I couldn't leave now if I wanted to," I sighed against her, and I gathered her closer, listening to her slowing pulse, her deep breathing as she drifted off to sleep.

When I could move again, I shifted my weight to the side, kissing her cheek when she mumbled sleepily in protest. Then I heard the ding of the elevator opening downstairs, down the hall from my apartment.

"Shhh…" I soothed. "Someone's coming to the door."

I replaced my body with the comforter, smiling as she snuggled down into the warmth I couldn't provide. I pulled on my jeans and t-shirt and quietly closed the door behind me. At the top of the stairs, I caught Josef's scent. With mixed emotions, I went to the door, noting his nervous posture on the security monitor. I sighed to myself and opened it.

"Josef," I said neutrally.

"Mick," he replied. He got a whiff of me, and no doubt sensed what Beth and I had been up to. "I'm interrupting. I'll come back later."

"No. Beth's sleeping. Come in." When he sat down, I noticed again how tense he was.

"Would you like a drink?"

"More than life itself," he said ironically. I hid my grin as I turned my back to fill two glasses with whiskey. My anger with him had faded, but I didn't want him to think he was off the hook with me.

I handed him his drink and sat on the couch across from him, noting with some relief that his face had recovered from the beating I'd given him. Don't get me wrong—it had felt good at the time, but in retrospect, inflicting pain on my best friend was not something I was proud of. I hated the awkwardness I felt now, and even Josef seemed uncomfortable with it, for once.

"I've been in New York."

"Beth said you were going out of town. Did you see Simone?"

"Yes. Among other people." He downed his drink suddenly and got to his feet, beginning his customary pacing when he was having a hard time with something. A minute of that, and his thoughts came out in a rush.

"I went to New York to fulfill your requirements. I hope to hell it meets with your approval, because it was the hardest damn thing I've ever done in my life."

_Oh my God. Did he end things with Simone?_

"What did you do, Josef?" I asked softly. He stopped his pacing and sat down again, searching for the words.

"I…I let Sarah go…" He squeezed his eyes shut, while I sat there, feeling his pain like a tangible thing.

"Josef…why?" He opened his eyes and looked into mine, and after half a century of knowing him, I could easily read every emotion he was going through.

"At first, it was for you, Mick. But if this doesn't count toward your test of my friendship, don't worry, it ended up not being for you after all. It was for her. It was for Simone and me. I was ready, and it was time. Past time."

I didn't know what to say. He wasn't exaggerating when he said it was the hardest thing he'd ever done. I believed that to my very core. Guilt overwhelmed me, and now I was the one who couldn't look at him.

"Josef…you didn't have to do that. I mean, it was just _a kiss_. I thought you would give up cigars, or the Ferrari, or freshies. But…Sarah? My God, man, she meant everything to you." I turned back to him, my throat tight. I reached for my drink.

"Now, Mick, you should have known there was no way in hell I'd give up the Ferarri." He was smiling at me.

"Is this a joke, Josef? Because there's nothing funny about this."

His face grew instantly serious. "No, buddy, it isn't. When I shot her body with potassium chloride, I wanted to die along with her. After that experience, there's really nothing you can do—nothing _anyone _could ever do—that would top the pain I felt in that moment. She's gone, Mick, and I should have faced that long ago, the first time I took her life. So don't go on some guilt trip now. It needed to be done. As usual, you just gave me the kick in the ass to do the right thing."

"I'm sorry." And I meant it. When I found out about Sarah last year, I wanted to tell him to let her go. But it wasn't my place to tell him to let his girlfriend die.

"Don't be. Just give me your verdict, and I'll let you get back to Goldilocks up there. So tell me, Mick, am I forgiven?"

He seemed so anxious for my approval, but what he'd done…well, it was certainly far beyond anything I had imagined he would do. Yet here I was, ashamed of my audacity to presume to judge him, after he did something I don't know that I could have done. I mean, what if it had been Beth?

"I'm not your judge, Josef," I said quietly. "I was pissed off, hurt, that you betrayed our friendship. I wanted you to suffer, it's true. But I never wanted you to hurt this way, to make a decision so difficult, to sacrifice _someone_ you loved. If anything, I _mis_judged you. Your promise to me, that you'll never cross that line with Beth again—well, that's good enough for me, Josef."

He looked me straight in the eye. "You've got it." And we gave each other tentative smiles, the tension in the room dissipating. A companionable silence ensued as we basked in the relief that all could finally get back to normal, whatever that was. Then a thought suddenly occurred to him.

"Cigars, Mick? You thought I would just give up cigars for you? Am I really that shallow?"

One raised eyebrow was my only reply. He laughed, because in some ways, he could totally see my point.

"So, you said you saw Simone. Anything new on that front?"

"Yes. She came home with me. Or, back to her home, I should say. The engagement is still on, but we're taking it slow now, living apart until we set a date. And by the way, I saw my future monster-in-law as well. She mentioned you, by the way."

I cringed in commiseration. I ignored the uncomfortable reference to Elise Walker's flirtation with me. "Oh? How did the dragonlady take it when you absconded with her daughter again?"

"We had a heartless to heartless talk, she and I. I flashed her some fang and threatened her life. I don't think she's gonna be a problem anymore.

_Was he crazy?_

"You're shittin' me. That was pretty risky, don't you think?"

"There were no witnesses, and I think I scared the holy hell out of her. No one would believe her if she told anyone. For all her bitchy ways, she's still a pretty smart woman. She knows my word is good."

I shook my head. "The size of your cajones is a constant source of amazement to me, Josef."

He smirked and went for a refill. "You're not the first one to tell me that."

About this time, Beth came down the stairs, dressed in one of my button-up shirts and nothing else. It hung to her knees like a very sexy dress.

"Oh," she exclaimed self-consciously, spying Josef in the kitchen. "I didn't know Josef was here."

I was ashamed that my eyes flew immediately to Josef for his reaction to post-coital Beth, but he only looked upon the scene in amusement. She turned to go back upstairs.

"Hi, Beth. Don't mind me. I was about to head out and leave you two kids to…whatever."

She looked from Josef to me, wondering at the change in atmosphere. I nodded in reassurance. She smiled, genuinely happy that we'd resolved things. True to his word, Josef tossed down another quick shot and strolled past us back to the front door. I got up to see him out.

"Say, Buzzwire," Josef called over his shoulder. "You might want to give Simone a call. I'm sure she'd love to catch you up on all the latest gossip."

"Oh, okay. I'll do that. Bye Josef. I'm glad you're back." She gave him a warm smile.

"Me too, Blondie," he said, looking at us both with undisguised affection—of the purely brotherly kind.

"You know, Mick, I once said that no broad was worth breaking up our friendship. I guess I was wrong about that, wasn't I?" I looked back at Beth, who was rooting around in my kitchen cabinets for a midnight snack.

"Yes, you were."

"It's good to finally know where I am on your list of priorities," he said with a grin. He stuck out his hand so I could shake it, but I ignored it, and surprised him with a bear hug. He hesitated a fraction of a second before squeezing me back, then extricated himself in slight embarrassment.

He straightened his collar, trying and failing to look annoyed. "Watch the Armani, will ya?"

I laughed, otherwise I might just have pussied out and cried, because Josef Kostan was still my best friend. Also, I never would have heard the end of it.

"Poker night tomorrow, as usual?" He asked.

"Sure. But I warn you, I'm feeling pretty lucky these days."

"So am I, my friend. So am I." The door clicked shut behind him.

A few minutes later, Beth sat in my lap on the couch, munching on a bag of chocolate chip cookies.

"I wish milk didn't spoil so fast so you could keep some in your fridge. It would be nice to have a big glass to go with these." At least that's what I thought she said, what with her mouth full and all.

"You want me to run to the store for you, Princess?" I asked, only slightly sarcastic, brushing her dropped crumbs off my shirt.

"Don't be like that. I know you would if I asked you to. You'd do anything for me."

"Oh, really? Pretty confident, aren't you?"

She smiled, bits of chocolate sticking endearingly to her front teeth. I chuckled at how cute she was.

"Yep," she replied saucily. I couldn't really think of a good argument, because when you're happily whipped like I was…

I took the bag from her hand and set it on the coffee table, then reached for my glass of whiskey.

"Thanks…you know I can never stop with one." Her sweet tooth was notorious.

"Here, wash it down with this."

She made a face but accepted the drink. It didn't surprise me that whiskey and cookies didn't go together, and she stuck out her tongue at the bizarre combination of flavors. At least the chocolate was gone from her teeth, however. She gave me back the glass and I looked in it before I took a drink, then set it back down in disgust when I saw crumbs floating in it.

"I wish everyone could see just how unladylike you can be sometimes," I said, only half kidding.

Her eyes narrowed to smoldering slits. She maneuvered herself so that she was straddling me, her naked legs even more exposed as her borrowed shirt rode up to her thighs.

"Don't be a hypocrite, St. John. You like that I can be unladylike. As a matter of fact," she said, her teeth nibbling on my earlobe, "I think you like it very much." Her hand moved down to cup the front of my jeans before toying with the zipper. I certainly knew one part of me that liked it very much.

"Don't you want to hear what Josef told me?" I asked, gasping as her hand slipped inside my jeans.

"Later. Right now, I only want one thing from you," she said sexily, touching her nose to mine, her hand still busy a little farther south.

"What's that?" It was getting uh… harder and harder to uh…talk.

"Just a kiss…"

I complied wholeheartedly, then leaned back to look at her, dazed and wanting me. Her wandering hand had found its way beneath my shirt, and she moved toward my mouth again.

"Hey," I whispered, trying not to smile, "you only said you wanted one."

Her eyes sparkled with mischief. "I know, but you're like that bag of cookies, Mick. It starts with just one, then, before I know it, it's just one more, then another, and another…" She punctuated each phrase with a sweet, chocolate-whiskey-tainted kiss.

Taking her by surprise, I suddenly rose to my feet. She wrapped her legs around my waist and held on to my shoulders for dear life as I took the stairs four at a time, the sound of her squeals and laughter ringing in my ears. I got to the bedroom and threw her on the bed, pulling off my jeans and shirt in a vampire minute. I didn't give her time to think before I entered her body with a groan. She gasped in wonder, as I began to move. A half hour later, we lay there, sated and exhausted.

"See what a kiss can lead to," I murmured against her breasts, which, by the way, made excellent pillows.

"Beatings and lost friendships?" she suggested, playing with my hair.

I laughed, because now, thank God, I could.

THE END

A/N: Thanks to all who read and reviewed! I still have a few more stories left in me, if you are interested. I don't have everything worked out for my next one, but add me to your favorites, and you'll know as soon as I post it! (And yes, that was a blatant attempt for attention!)

P.S.: Happy 4th of July to all my American readers!


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